11) Advising and Registration

First and foremost, Smart Ass Voice Writers truly cherish the value of a top-notch education. After all, that's why we are here, right? And what better way to foster that University education than with the smooth-as-butter ease of Suffolk's very own advising and registration process?

Without the wealth of knowledge cast upon our measly little SAVW minds by our advisors, we would have dropped out of school semesters ago. And they are so welcoming! Advisors won't simply remind us to get that Science requirement out of the way. No, no, no! They won't rush us out of the room. On the contrary! They will sit us down with a bottle of Merlot and ask what's really on our minds. They really do care.

As if flipping through that nifty little Course Catalog wasn't fun enough, then comes registration day. It looks like Christmas came early this year!

We have mountains of classes to choose from - anything from our Cultural Diversity requirements to classes we actually want to take. That, of course, is not the case for freshman and sophomores. Or, those who have a registration time after 10 A.M, or need that one last class to graduate. And especially not for those who expect SAIL to actually function properly because, well, that is wishful thinking and now you have jinxed it for all of us.

Okay, maybe registration is more like Christmas after your Dad lost his job and all you find in your stocking is a penny and a half-eaten candy bar. But, come on, Christmas is Christmas, right?

Oh, who cares! You might as well forget graduating on time and come back for an extra semester - it's worth it! So, here's to you, advising and registration. Year after year, you leave us well informed, stress-free, and with the utmost faith in our top-notch University education.