15) Barack Obama

Some would say that it would be wrong for SAVW to tell readers why they shouldn't vote for a certain candidate and then support him later, but we know better. Yes, we can, and are now more than ready to show our support for president Obama. Ironically, what better way than by adding him to the prestigious list of things that Smart Ass Voice Writers like? Heck, someone will have to take the torch from the mobs of crazed Obama-campaigners who have since gone back to not caring about politics.

While this is a place where anything is possible, we did not make this choice without good reason, however. In the past, we have suggested that people consider third-party voting for the sake of genuinely unique ideals. Well, who would be more unique as president than an elitist African-American socialist Muslim, especially when one considers the rustic alternative of John McCain? I mean, just look at him - he's so totally old!

More to the point, the presidential election of Obama was by no means unanimous in its decision, meaning some simpletons must have voted for McCain. Accordingly, SAVW will not under any circumstances openly bless America. Nay, god damn America for its diversity. God damn America for even partially voting against Obama, say us.

Damnation aside, Obama was kind enough to share his victory with voters, making him all the more cool. SAVW probably wouldn't, we have to admit, but hey, even we need someone to look up to for moral guidance, which is pretty much what this is all about. Thanks to you, Obama, even with all of the problems facing our society today, we have hope.