The older we become, the wiser we get. So, naturally the elders in our family are those full of wise words and knowledge younger generations do not yet know or understand. These elders feel compelled to spread this knowledge onto us, whether we ask them to or not, and often times continue rambling, making sure to add their own personal flair to the life's lessons they are attempting to teach. This is exactly why Smart Ass Voice Writers like "old people's rants."

My dear friend's 94 year-old uncle, Harry, is famous for his rants. In fact, his opinions are so unique, she has incorporated them into a weekly "Facebook update", obviously not all of her friends have a wisecracking, rambling, 94 year-old uncle, so she decided to share hers. Recently Harry's mind has been on Tiger Woods, obviously as the media still continues to stretch this story as thin as it can be stretched.
"You hear about this BS with Tiger's bimbos?" Harry began, as everyone's eyes rolled and they began to brace themselves for the rest of his rant, "I thought apologies were for people you've insulted or wronged. He likes blondes and they like billionaires, seems like a simple equation to me! The only one I feel bad for is that Elin, but, from what I hear, she at least got a couple good whacks in."

Harry of course, lived in a different time. A time when, I can only assume, the matter of infidelity was rather a forgivable one, I mean look at JFK. However, he may be onto something, or he is just as sick of hearing about Tiger as the rest of us! Needless to say Harry has quite the personality, and he can make some valid points, especially on the subject of gambling in Massachusetts!
"You know, that Deleo is making his pitch for casinos and slot machines in Massachusetts. You know what? Everyone should be for it - every other car at Foxwoods and Mohegan has a Mass license plate.... you know what comes along with the Mass plates? Massachusetts WALLETS! All our Massachusetts money is going to Connecticut. For Christ's sake, they are busing them in! We need a casino here. Some people are against it, they say the casinos and slots will bring crime and prostitution, which is a bunch of BS... everyone knows what brings around the hookers…",
This is the time when all those in the room asked, bracing themselves to discover how a 94 year old seems to know what brings hookers around these days, "Oh yeah, what's that Harry?" And then he replied, "The Craigslist! You don't even need to leave your house no more to find them! They aren't gonna waste their time hanging around the slot machines!"

The man's got a point there.