Why the Disputes of Our Time Suck

While riding in a car over the weekend, trying to enjoy the sunshine and my time of rest, I was rudely pulled back into a world full of douche-bags by some idiot racing past in a Hummer while smoking and going easily 15 mph over the speed limit. Before proceeding out of my view, I was able to read a bumper sticker on the Hummer’s back, bearing the slogan “Pro Life.”

I wondered, while in a passive annoyance, why the driver would risk killing other commuters if she supported the principle her tank was advertising? Furthermore, if I were to try and remove the sticker at a later time, would she still respect my life even a little?

At a later point in my journey, my progress was hindered as the car came up behind a moron driving far under the speed limit. His bumper’s sticker had a yellow symbol for equality on it with a blue background.

“Another douche-bag,” I thought then. Because if equality were really worth advocating, then there would be no point in having an Honor Roll in school, and America would have had universal healthcare decades ago.

“Tolerance would have made much more sense for the second driver,” I thought, as a more suitable choice of maxims. “Fuck his equality.”

By the end of my journey, I still found myself pondering the idiots on the road, and how much information I was able to glean about them from so little. “I could make a good living from doing this, if I had majored in psychology,” I mused.